Posted Dec 6th 2007, 10:05
It pains me to write this, but then again, it pained me to watch Project Runway last night with guest judge Donna "ain't no" Karan who with all the money in the world, does nothing to not look like a transvestite. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan, especially the one on Dirty, Sexy Money or the ones I walk past in order to see a show at the McCadden theater in Hollywood, but she's got a face for a catwalk in a litter box. Apparently, the clothes do make the man. Thank you comedy.com blog for allowing me to vent in private.
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Posted Dec 10th 2007, 10:01
An exact quote I heard this weekend from my Mom about her response to a junior high teacher accusing me (a perfect C+ / B- student throughout school), of cheating. Concerned parent? Nah, my Mom knew better...and told the teacher that she was wrong about her son cheating because "Matthew doesn't care enought to cheat." I'll always remember that one.
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Posted Dec 10th 2007, 16:42
I believe in ugly mirrors and they seem to follow me in my bathroom offices. The bigger problem is that I'm not sure if this is due to an ugly mirror but I need an eyebrow lift. Not the penciled in parabola that you see on some high schoolers that make them seem surprised all of the time but just a slight lift to pull them off of my eyes. Do you think they do these? I've heard of a ball lift so i'm guessing so. Maybe I'll get the Jew taken out of my nose too, although I'd hate to lose its character.
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Posted Dec 28th 2007, 08:11
Last updated Jan 2nd, 10:34
I haven't quite decided if I'll do it for away games, but I'm going to start to pee sitting down for home games. There's really just no reason not to, and the benefits far outweigh the negatives. First, the laughter if discovered is gutteral and pure. Let me also add that you don't forget to put the seat down because it's always down. How about the problems in the mornings? Shall I go on? No of course not, it's a no brainer... but for some reason, we think it's less manly. Well I'm here as an official representative to pass Comedy.com's Right #1 which allows men to pee sit...
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Posted Jan 3rd, 14:53
I'm demolishing the 4 Play in Boston last week which consists of my favorite bar food, the jalapeno popper, accompanied by calamari, onion rings, boneless buffalo tenders and the now step child of apps, potato skins. A couple of beers later, it hit me that the potato skins used to have the app market cornered but are now a total afterthought. And I started to feel bad for the potato skin because it still has my favorite food groups (cheese, carbs and bacon) and is the same delicious being. So I salute you Potato Skin and that's why I capitalize you.
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Posted Mar 7th, 10:16
I'm completely obsessed with where my belly button lint comes from...and if it only happens to the Jewy. I seem to have a lot of it and am very close to saving them each night ala an aluminum foil ball. However, I'm not that guy and hope that Nutrisystem will help me fight the lint and bring my belly down to a normal size as not to attract the lint people. Does the body house any other substances like this? And why does this blog sound like it was written by Carrie Bradshaw?
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