The first time you ride on a plane is exciting. Every time after that is aggravating. After a while, you start to see a pattern. The same horrible people you hated from your last flight are back in the form of a different person on your next flight. Here are the worst 12 people who are always on your flight. Yes, it’s airplane jokes. Let’s all get over ourselves…

1. The Fat Guy

Why do the fat Guinness Book motorcycle twins have to sit on either side of us on the plane? Can you have the fattest human you can find and have them take up all of our space in our seat? We’re practicing to be a human contortionist. Can you do that? If it’s not too much to ask, can you have them breathe as heavily as possible too? Who wants to sleep, anyway?

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This tattoo gets an A for effort.

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Soulja Boy was hacked.

Matthew McConaughey’s mom wrote a gross book about her husband’s weiner.

The guy who leaked the new Guns n’ Roses tracks got arrested.

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How does your tailgating vehicle match up to these?

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In the newest episode of Comedy.com’s original series Make A Hot Girl Laugh, comedians Mark Fernandez and Eric Lokke do their best to make the lovely Jessica Rockwell (can that possibly be her real name?) giggle.

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CSI parodies may be a dime a dozen at this point, but Funny or Die’s latest take on the genre is well worth watching. It revolves around a team of Pot Scene Investigators, who try their best to solve marijuana-related mysteries such as the case of the missing $40.

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Punchline magazine has a great series of videos going where they sit down for “a tight five” with a different comic each week. In this episode, they chat with Mitch Fatel who explains how his parents reacted to his decision to become a stand up comic and why his message to children is to “just try a little school.”

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It’s a right of passage for many teenage boys and scumbags. It’s a man’s way of showing proof that he’s digitally stimulated his lady friend. Here are the people who nobody would ever want that olfactory proof from. Ever.

7. Danny DeVito

Whenever you smell something bad and can’t figure out where it’s coming from, there’s always a possibility it’s Rhea Perlman’s beav.

6. Bill Clinton

It’d be like playing Russian Roulette. In this scenario the bullet would be if his fingers smelled like Hillary’s groan-gina.
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Horrible looking dudes posing with porno chicks.

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Self-hating storm trooper and a Batman dick trigger. Just click.

Kyle Orton looks fun.

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Michael Bolton is single, ladies!

Time Magazine has some sort of article about Ron Jeremy.

Kyle Grooms does one of the best Obama impressions we’ve heard.

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We’re not sure what the best part of this photo is - the fact that somebody decided to write a college essay about the 2 Girls 1 Cup video, or the fact that a teacher felt the need to tell the student that it was not appropriate.

Thanks, Giggle Sugar.

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We’re not usually huge fans of cute kid videos, but we have to admit that we really appreciate this kid’s honesty as his Mom interviews him and he reveals the only time that he actually likes her. We imagine that when this kid grows up, there’s some lady that will be lucky enough to be on the receiving end of his blunt honesty as an adult as well - and that should make for an equally entertaining video.

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“I just want to make sure that you don’t get the wrong idea about us,” she said naked lying in the bed of a comic she had met a few hours before.

“What do you mean by the wrong idea?” He played along.

“I just don’t want you to think because we had sex that we are going to be more than friends. Actually, I have a boyfriend and I have to leave to go be with him.”

This was the neatest thing he had ever heard. Hours earlier, he had played a sold-out show at the Improv. Immediately after the show, the stunning blonde that had been in the front row approached him. They began talking, and then doing shots, and then as the bar was closed they spilled into the street lost in one of those two-sided make outs - amazing to be in the middle of, awful and annoying to have to witness.

“I can’t come over to your house…I just met you.”

She was sincere. He believed her. However, he didn’t remember asking her back to his place.

“I mean, I’m not really tired. Do you have any blow?”

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