The 10 Oldest Women We’d Still Bang
Oh boy. You ever put together a Top 10 ranking and, after some research, discover horrible things about yourself? Let’s say, for example, you were thinking you were going to rank the oldest women you’d still have consensual sexual intercourse with and think there’d be some hot babes in their 40s and 50s on that list… and then have the youngest one be 58 years old? Well that’s exactly what happened. Here are the Top 10 Oldest Women we’d still bang. Enjoy.
10. Morgan Fairchild (58)
Them breastessess don’t look 58! Lose the arm gloves and we’re talkin’.
9. Cheryl Tiegs (60)
We’ll never take down our Cheryl Tiegs poster either.
8. Susan Lucci (61)
More like ‘All My Grandchildren”. But she still gives us a halfy.
7. Suzanne Somers (61)
Oooooh. G-mama takes care of herself. Lemme be your Thigh Master. Or something.
6. Diane Sawyer (62)
I bet she’s really classy in the bedroom. Whatever that means.
5. Goldie Hawn (62)
Just, like, pretend its Kate Hudson.
4. Helen Mirren (62)
So old… but so elegant. We’d do.
3. Dolly Parton (62)
Like if Dolly Parton was hitting on you, you’d turn it down. It would be your duty as an American.
2. Racquel Welch (67)
She’s not a ‘would do’, she’s actually a ‘want to do’. Hubba hubba, old lady.
1. Sophia Lauren (73)
Uhhhh. Seventy three, huh? Hmm. Okay. Yeah. We’d do it. Then we’d brag to our grandpa.
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Tags: List
June 19th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Post their current photos and see how many are still MILFs.
June 20th, 2008 at 5:22 am
What no Ann Margret?
June 20th, 2008 at 6:32 am
what about Sela Ward? the ex wife of the main character in Fox’s HOUSE.
June 20th, 2008 at 6:33 am
Um, Jane Seymour?
June 20th, 2008 at 6:38 am
It’s amazing what you can still accomplish with an airbrush or Photoshop and a publicity still.
June 20th, 2008 at 6:46 am
Post the pictures of men who still use the word “bang” and see how many of them Bea Arthur would “do”.
FYI … Move out of Mom’s basement/finally deflate your prom date, and double up on the little blue meds.
June 20th, 2008 at 6:48 am
Jaclyn Smith
June 20th, 2008 at 6:56 am
HOW ABOUT MRS ROPER
June 20th, 2008 at 7:21 am
those are current photos….
June 20th, 2008 at 7:21 am
[...] 10 Oldest Women The Comedy Feed
June 20th, 2008 at 7:29 am
Ummm…those ARE current photos. Airbrushed all to hell, but current.
And yes, I’d tag every beautiful saggy one of them.
June 20th, 2008 at 7:44 am
Dang, Welch is still smokin’, even after the Planet of the Apes!
June 20th, 2008 at 7:47 am
if the moon was made of spare ribs would you eat…i would
June 20th, 2008 at 7:51 am
[...] Originally Posted by ManlyBanisters And how does that have anything to do with one guy finding another guy attractive? Probably because the brains of gay men aren’t all that dissimilar from those of straight women. That’s a bit beside my original point, though. I was referring to the instinctive sex drive itself, not how it manifests in different people. Oh, and I just couldn’t resist this! [...]
June 20th, 2008 at 7:51 am
You included Diane Sawyer and Helen Mirren and left out Barbara Eden.
FAIL!
June 20th, 2008 at 7:53 am
You must be old as hell to say you’d bang this list.
June 20th, 2008 at 7:59 am
It’s Sophia LOREN you chimp. Otherwise, that list is spot on.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Yeah, they look great on the screen, but what do they look like without makeup or clothes? The lights would definitely have to be dimmed. Or off.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Give Susan Lucci’s plastic surgeon an emmy! Dolly has kind of turned into a characture of herself.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:10 am
That’s…not a good picture of Goldie Hawn.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:31 am
What, you don’t have Ann-Margaret on the list? I am surprised Hellen Mirren is on there. Oh and….First!
June 20th, 2008 at 8:36 am
With the exception of Helen Mirren, I’d fly wingman on every mission…well done!
June 20th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Dude….Diane Lane?!? No Diane Lane ? No Kim Basinger ?
June 20th, 2008 at 8:44 am
These Women are Beautiful, Graceful, Classy and Intelligent. No matter they are “10 OLDEST WOMEN You would still bang” Like you would even have a chance in Hell. NOW THAT IS FUNNY.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:53 am
Oh God, you’re high. A few of these are airbrushed and the ones that are not are awful. You must really be horny. I mean really, really horny.
June 20th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Where’s Ann Margaret?
June 20th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Great list!
Personally, i’d drop Dianne Sawyer and add Jaclyn Smith, but to each their own i s’pose…
June 20th, 2008 at 9:42 am
the bulk of those photos ARE current.
June 20th, 2008 at 9:50 am
WHAT??
where’s susan sarandon?
June 20th, 2008 at 9:59 am
9, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3 <- the writers of this article must be in their 40s, because i would not touch any of these ladies. im sorry, maybe its because im 24, maybe its because im not into old ladies, but this article is filled with uglies..do a better job next time, maybe try finding lesser celebrities that are pretty rather than old celebrities that look like a threw up on them, then crapped on them, then ate its crap, then crapped out its eaten crap and puked ontop of it.
June 20th, 2008 at 10:32 am
I would love Raquel, Sophia, and Dolly to adopt me, then pull kind of a Woddy Allen thing on my ass. All at once, one a time. Morgan Farchild and Suzanne Sommers, I mean.. yeah, but HELEN MIRREN? She looks like my grandma.. least she could spend some of that merry ol money of hers on a face! And then Dianne Sawyer.. sorry guys, not even drunk on a bet.
Moi
June 20th, 2008 at 10:34 am
The above photos could explain the rise in stocks for Adobe, creators of Photoshop.
June 20th, 2008 at 10:38 am
I’m 63, There not oldto me.haha, But I don’t look quite that good, I’d do any of them, BUTTTTTT they wouldn’t do me. All us old farts cand do is look and wish. LOL
June 20th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Except for Raquel Welch and [possibly] Sophia Loren, those are current photos. Recent photos of Sophia Loren aren’t much different than the one above. I haven’t seen anything recent of Raquel Welch, but since women who age like this are basically genetic mutants, I suspect she still looks darn good as well.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:29 am
How could you leave out Adrianne Barbeau.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:34 am
DUDE, you forgot Betty White!!!
June 20th, 2008 at 11:47 am
SO much plastic surgery and photoshop in those pics!!
June 20th, 2008 at 11:52 am
How about Jamie Lee Curtis. And no, the rumour is NOT true.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Bad List…..your immaturity is really showing. And you know what…..even these older beauties wouldn’t give you the time of day! Grow up.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
[...] (62) 4. Helen Mirren (62) 3. Dolly Parton (62) 2. Racquel Welch (67) 1. Sophia Lauren (73) Click here for story and pictures __________________ Time is Short Click Here, Free Naked Ladies 2007 TNTU.net Fantasy NASCAR [...]
June 20th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I’m 45 and I airbrush myself to look 20 for my websites. You can bet when I’m 70 I’ll be able to airbrush myself to look 40. Put up unaltered snapshots of these ladies, and then let’s re-vote.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Ever notice that Avril Lavigne looks like a young Cheryl Tiegs?
I agree on Sela Ward.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Helllloooo. Jessica Lange anyone.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Wes, Welch wasn’t in Planet of the Apes, that girl was much hotter.
June 20th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
NO HEATHER LOCKLEAR, NO LIST
June 20th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Sally Field!
June 20th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I’m a photographer that did a shoot with Dolly Parton last year. First of all, if you like spinners, she’s for you, as she can’t be over 4′11″. Second, she’s had some good plastic surgery other than the fish lips, that is.
What the hell, I’d do it.
June 20th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
[...] on your list? The 10 oldest women you would still bang. The Comedy Feed Blog Archive The 10 Oldest Women We’d Still Bang __________________ "We could not now take time for further search or consideration, our [...]
June 20th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
The dolly one gives me the creeps.
and whoever said anyone but Helen Mirren is nuts, she’s one of hottest on the list.
June 20th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
What about Phyllis Diller? I’d do her for sure.
June 20th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Mary Tyler Moore anyone??????
June 20th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Blue meds? I am 46 and I don’t need any meds to keep it up. Yeah,,these women are gorgeous and I would take any one of them over these punk chics I meet at clubs. I’d start at their feet and lick my way up. Twice if I liked it, three times if I didn’t.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Hey Lorelei ,, let’s go out. I’ll buy.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Catherine Deneuve
June 20th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Any list like this has got to include the Dyans, Keaton and Cannon. Watch Dyan Cannon in Out To Sea, she wears this body hugging little black dress that well Wow just doesn’t begin to cover it.
June 21st, 2008 at 10:30 am
Lots of comments about touching up of pictures, but they do that with ALL celebraties & models even in their teens & twenties!
June 21st, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Slags. The whole lot of them. No, thank you.
June 21st, 2008 at 3:52 pm
RITA MACNEIL!!!!
June 22nd, 2008 at 3:40 am
how about Lauren Hutton and Jessica Lang
June 22nd, 2008 at 10:59 am
i would rather bang scuba.
check her out.
she’s been banged by more men then these 10 women combined.
she can be reached at scubagal2@hotmail.com
contact her for lunch dates before bangs.
June 22nd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Diane Sawyer? Huh? I don’t get that one.
Where is Jane Seymour? 57 years old and a hottie to boot!
June 23rd, 2008 at 11:16 am
[...] Let’s say, for example, you were thinking you were going to rank the oldest women you’d still have consensual sexual intercourse with and think there’d be some hot babes in their 40s and 50s on that list… and then have the youngest one be 58 years old? [...]
June 23rd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
honestly, couldn’t they find a better picture of Dolly? That one is so over painted - she looks better when she’s a bit toned down.
June 24th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Let’s see…
No Ann-Margaret…FAIL
No Jamie Lee Curtis…FAIL
No Lynda Carter…FAIL
No Barbara Eden…FAIL
No Sela Ward…FAIL
Diane Sawyer…FAIL
Goldie Hawn…FAIL
Suzanne Somers…partial FAIL
TOTAL: EPIC FAIL
July 24th, 2008 at 11:30 am
This list is whack! Where is Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman? She’s a POA! Where is Wonder Woman? Where is Barbara Eden?
August 5th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
My list:
#1 Dianne Sawyer
#2Racquel Welch
#4Barbara Eden
#6Jane Seymour
#5Catherine Deneuve
#3Sally Field
#7Jaclyn Smith