The 25 Worst Rap Names Ever
Is anybody else finding the Ice-T vs. Soulja Boy beef fascinating? No? Does nobody else see the irony of somebody calling themselves ‘Ice-T’ telling somebody calling themselves ‘Soulja Boy’ that they killed hip-hop? How about nearly 30 years of terrible names killing hip-hop? Well, we took a look back and here are the 25 worst rap names of all time.
25. Kokane
Ooooooh. You spelled it wrong! Good job. Can’t tell by looking at you if that was intentional or if your IQ borders on legally retarded. By the way, Legally Retarded is a pretty good rap name.
24. Uncle Murda
Look how ridiculous this guy is. You like murder, we get it. When you’re done playing dress up, get back to mopping them floors at Burger King. Actually, I’m guessing the 10% of this guy’s rhymes that aren’t about murdering people, are about how much he hates mopping the floors at Burger King.
23. Kingpin Skinny Pimp
You can’t be a kingpin and a pimp, bro. Pick one. That’s not even trying. And I don’t believe you’re either. You look like the janitor from my high school, if he went to Hip-Hop Glamour Shots.
22. Peanut Butter Wolf
Don’t exactly know what you’re going for here, guy. But that name is a stinker.
21. Dorasel
He must feud with Enagyza. Is it me, or do most of these guys look special?
20. Atoms Family
I know its the same joke as the last one, but they must have beef with Da Munstaz. Sorry. Too much fun to pass up.
19. Da Notorious Prime Playaz.
Jesus Christ. Get it together. You’re docked points for ‘Da’ and ‘Playaz’. It’s like you took four other rap names and slapped them together to get this mess.
18. 69 Boyz
It sounds like you getting a blow job… while giving a blow job. Deducted points for “Boyz”.
17. Funky Aztecs
Funky + An Indian Tribe Name = Terrible.
16. Godfather Don
Oh my god. Fuck yourself. Was ‘Gotti Capone Montana’ taken? How about ‘Any Book by Mario Puzo’?
15. Grayskul
A big thumbs down to He-Man-influenced rap names.
14. Concentration Camp
Wow. No.
13. DJ Crazy Toones
Did you lose a bet when you picked this name? Because it’s terrible.
12. Freak Nasty
A good way to date yourself with a short-lived slang term for sex circa the A Different World era.
11. Guilty Simpson
What, you couldn’t come up with a quick Menendez Brothers reference? How about Lorena Bobbit? Your new name is ‘Mongo Slice’.
10. Da Muzicianz
Whoever came up with this name, wrote it in poop on a wall. Just horrible.
9. Matlock
Did this sound cool to whoever came up with it? Because its a show with Any Griffith that old people like.
8. Deadly Snakes
You’re really not even trying now. Elementary school kids have tree house club names that are more clever than this.
7. Carmen Sandiego
It’s a kid’s geography game. You can’t act hard. Although “Shootz n’ Laddahz” is a pretty sweet name nobody uses.
6. Yak Ballz
Nobody is ever going to care about you.
5. Rappin’ Ron
Well… my name is Ron and I’m here to say…
4. Princess Superstar
I hope there’s irony involved in a name this horrible.
3. Young Black Teenagers
None of them were black. None of them were teenagers.
2. Boss Hog Barbarians and Boss Hogg Outlawz
It’s a tie. You both just took a Dukes of Hazzard character and then added something more dangerous to it. Fail.
1. Hawd Gankstuh Rappuh Emsees Wid Ghats
Please let this be not a joke. It sounds like a deaf person coming up with the worst rap cliche ever.
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Tags: List
June 27th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Hilarious….
June 27th, 2008 at 11:25 am
this is painfully unfunny. your writing sucks, as does your knowledge of hip hop (to say nothing of the gigantic chip on your shoulder about black people). if you’re going to continue torturing the world with your alleged ‘humor,’ at least go with the tried-and-true adage ‘write what you know.’ an article about how to get cheeto dust off your dick would be both informative and hilarious.
June 27th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
dick: get that boil on your ass lanced and you’ll feel much better.
June 27th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
What about “Dominatin’ Dave, the Turntable Slave”?
June 27th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Wow, dick, bitter much? Nice try with the Cheeto thing, but … no. You might consider a sense of humor implant.
June 27th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
[...] The Comedy Feed has compiled the 25 worst rap names ever: Is anybody else finding the Ice-T vs. Soulja Boy beef fascinating? No? Does nobody else see the irony of somebody calling themselves ‘Ice-T’ telling somebody calling themselves ‘Soulja Boy’ that they killed hip-hop? How about nearly 30 years of terrible names killing hip-hop? Well, we took a look back and here are the 25 worst rap names of all time. [...]
June 27th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
How about Swolllen Members?
June 27th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Swollen members is a great call. I’d also add DJ Scratchutory Rape (even if he is a fictional DJ)…
June 27th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
To Dick, who wrote about the chip on your shoulder about black people. Grow up its not a color thing its Ha Ha funny names that sucked in rap. I found it most humorous does that make me a racist or you.
June 27th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Hahahahahaha, ohhhh lordy. Deadly Snakes. On A Plane?
June 28th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Hint to dick: If someone has a problem with hip-hop and rap, this does not equate to racism. Racism, in case you forgot, is when someone has an unreasoning hostility against someone else due to their ethnicity.
Making fun of frankly stupid rap names doesn’t equate to keeping people from getting jobs because of their skin color. If you think it does, you’ve been reading too much Village Voice.
And you know what? Those fucking baggy pants that you have to hold up when you walk look fucking stupid too.
June 28th, 2008 at 11:19 am
How about Whutsiznaim? Seriously, that’s his name. Capital W, h-u-t, s to the i to the mother-f-in z, n to the a to the i to the m. Whutsiznaim, Whutsiznaim, say it again.
June 28th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
[...] 25 Worst Rap Names: Uncle Murda, Matlock…weird that DJ Jazzy Jeff has been once again snubbed? Tagged with: [...]
June 29th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Dick may be way off about the racism, but he is right about one thing: this wasn’t funny at all.
Also: http://www.cracked.com/article_15119_25-worst-rapper-names-all-time.html
You could have at least come up with an original article.
June 29th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
[...] worst rap names ever - Comedy.com //OBSTART:do_NOT_remove_this_comment var [...]
June 30th, 2008 at 4:18 am
Although white people always get hilariously defensive when any underlying racism in their thinking is pointed out (and yes, I’m white), I think this piece did contain some bits that could be construed as racial stereotyping. “Mopping them floors at Burger King”? “The janitor from my high school”? Those had nothing to do with race..? When it’s patently obvious that a piece ridiculing black culture was written by a white person, you’re on shaky ground.
And as someone pointed out, Cracked.com did this much better some time ago. Also, including Princess Superstar on the list shows the writer lacks a sense of humor himself, seeing as the whole character is double-dipped in gaudy, hysterical irony. Finally, Peanut Butter Wolf is a cool name for a backpack hip hop producer; it’s not meant to be “understood” by jocks and Chris Daughtry fans.)
July 1st, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Monkey madness!
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:29 am
i’m with dick
July 2nd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Common sense alone will tell you that these rap names are beyond stupid. The decisions alone to go with names such as Uncle Murda, and Kingpin Skinny Pimp, only reinforce that these two guys are too uneducated to have better jobs than the author described. Black, or white, there’s no excuse for idiocy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go “Superman” some hoes.
July 8th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Soulja boy is a new level of hip hop. We need to have something for the new generation to relate to because we didn’t grow up when Ice-t did. No disrespect to Ice-t or anything. I mean Soulja boy maybe a no Nas but he is new school. I think all this beef needs to stop between rappers. Can’t they just make money and do positive stuff for their co-rappers?
July 17th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
mr. dick is rite. these boys n girls need to go back to tha drawing-board. re-think their whole agenda. porbre si
July 27th, 2008 at 7:29 am
Soulja Boy back to school…ummm soulja boy is not hip hop, any more than the macarena was latin hip hop.
it’s commercial pap, and made up dance moves. Make a beat, make a silly dance, say it’s cool, and wear oversized sunglasses….the sheeple aren’t far behind.