I love the blogosphere, or whatever it’s called. But for every interesting post, there’s probably 6 posts about thing I couldn’t care less about. So here are the Top 9 Things the blogosphere cares about that nobody else does.

9. Ice on Mars
Good luck having a conversation about this baby at any social outing that isn’t jam-packed full of NASA employees and high school science teachers.

Here’s you: “They found ice on Mars!”

Here’s everyone else: “They did? Cool.”

*awkward pause*

You: “Alright. See you around”.

8. Legos
Let me guess, some fucking Lego nerd made a Lego version of some nerdy comic book character or sci-fi movie character. Awesome. How ’bout a Lego version of your mom’s basement you never leave? No? How ’bout a Lego version of you losing your virginity?

7. Papercraft/Origami

Somebody folded up a shitty version of Iron Man? Radical! Bet you can’t fold up a shitty version of Wall-E. Oh, you can? Even more radical! Why don’t you fold up an origami turd and write “My life” on it?

6. Other Bloggers
Yes, I see the irony here. But every time I see a post about the importance or significance of blogging… on a blog… I want to puke all over my keyboard. Nobody cares but you, sir.

5. Soccer
I will never care about this sport. Ever.

4. Cell Phone Technology
Hey, dickbags, some hot shit new phone is coming out! Prepare to know all of its features and arguments for why it’s better than the new iNokia mp3 camera web GPS carbon-friendly green phone. Then prepare for it to be obsolete in 10 minutes. Then repeat forever.

3. Kittens
Awwwwwwwwwwwww. *Deep Breath* Awwwwwwwwwwwww. You’re out of control and you need to be stopped.

2. Steampunk
Yes, you love 19th Century English science fiction and fantasy shit. But mostly you love ugly furniture.

1. Celebs
Do you really care about what some gay creep has to say about who’s getting married/pregnant/on drugs/off drugs/turning to Scientology/took a shit at Costco today? Do you care about Anne Hathaway’s boyfriend? Do you care about Lindsay Lohan’s dad? Well you won’t in five minutes. Some other hot shit celeb will have a boyfriend or a dad, and you’ll move on. It’s fleeting and it’s a waste of your time. If you’re not reading this in June or early of 2008, you won’t even know what the above references mean.

Comedy.com’s Listmaster is Mike Bridenstine.

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