12 Celebrities Who Look Like They Take the Biggest Craps
I think this one is kind of self-explanatory. But all of the following people have a quality that leads me to believe they take gigantic dumps.
12. John Goodman
He looks like he could crap out a dump truck full of Arby’s beef & cheddars.
11. Rosie O’Donnell
The only thing she loves more than Broadway is her trusty plunger. You know, for her meatloaf-sized bricks of poop.
10. Jeff Garlin
I bet he probably spends most of his day planning for, and recovering from some shit he’s about to take or just took.
9. Shaq
It’d be kind of disappointing if he didn’t take ridiculous dumps.
8. James Gandolfini
Once ordered a hit on his basement toilet.
7. Uncle Phil
Powerful, powerful dumper.
6. John Daly
If crappin’ was a pro sport, he’d be in the Turd Hall of Fame.
5. Al Pacino
Whooooooooaaaaaaahhh!
4. Phylicia Rahad
Cosby’s. Pool. But seriously, I bet she takes strong Nubian power craps.
3. Horatio Sanz
He strikes me as a hearty shitter, who giggles uncontrollably at the sounds he’s making. Then he calls Jimmy Fallon to let him listen.
2. Elton John
No, not because he’s gay. Or because his name is synonymous with ‘Gay Bathroom’. But that doesn’t hurt. I just think he probably belts out logs like he belts out tunes.
1. That Infomercial Guy.
Kaboom is right. Billy Mays looks like he takes loud, violent, epic shits.
The Comedy.com ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine.
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Tags: List
July 8th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
What, no Artie Lange?
July 9th, 2008 at 11:22 am
I agree with James Gandolfini, John Daly and Uncle Phil (although I think you may be stretching the term “celebrity” there)…. you missed out on naming that one fat guy on every ABC/CBS sitcom nowadays… King of Queens according to Jim-esque types.
I also think the dad in Family Guy deserved an honorable mention… but not sure if cartoons count.
July 9th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
I dump on all of you.
July 9th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
This was not funny, nor creative. Thumbs down on Stumble
July 9th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Holly Crap, I almost shit my pants myself when I got to the last guy.
I fucking hate that guy. He makes me want to hurt people. Ugh.
Great post. Seven Thumbs up, and an Elbow.
July 9th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Billy Mays here for the Power Plunger. Once you’ve tried the Power Plunger, you won’t reach for that old regular plunger ever again! The Power Plunger is designed from space age materials, making it virtually indestructible! If you crap like I do, then this is THE product you’ve been waiting for! And if you call now, we’ll throw in the Super Snake septic line unclogger, AND a FREE months supply of Fecal Freak’s Fiber Loaves! You just pay shipping and handling.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
When I saw the title of this blog entry, I tried not to click on it.. But I couldn’t help myself.
Funny facacta’n sh1t…
July 9th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Thank God for this blog. Finally, serious speculation about the size of various celebrities’ bowel movements. Jesus.
The Interwebs is really getting hard up for content.
Maybe next time you could make a list of other blogs. that would be really original.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
“What, no Artie Lange?”
My exact thoughts
July 9th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
I once took a crap that lasted a whole 10 minutes. The toilet was vacant for the rest of the day.
July 10th, 2008 at 3:34 am
[...] These celebrities really know how to take a dump - [The Comedy Feed] [...]
July 11th, 2008 at 12:45 am
Phylicia Rahad is the only one who seemed out of place. The rest were dead on.
July 11th, 2008 at 10:46 am
WHERE IS GOD!!!!
July 11th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Where is Bono?? or Stan’s Dad? They both kicked ass shittin on South Park.
Nice list!
July 11th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Good call on all, especially Garlin. Dontcha know that fat, speech-impedified fuck can shut down a whole city block with his megaloafs.
I would add Mr. T, Cybill Shepherd, Michael Strahan, Ted “Lurch” Cassidy, and k.d. lang.
July 11th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
I don’t suppose my ex-husband would count?
I think you should shoehorn in Britney Spears.
July 12th, 2008 at 7:07 am
I have no doubt that Harvey Weinstein squats the biggest tootsie rolls this world has ever seen.
August 20th, 2008 at 4:47 am
I thought for sure Nick Nolte would be on this list!
January 20th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Funny,Shaq loves toilet humor.I guess he loves taking dumps or something.He said he was like a good crap,dependable and The Lakers shouldn’t have traded him.He also said he was like toilet paper,solid and useful.And he played like a good piss.He’s sick.He also told his cousin he’d pay him 10,000 dollars to take a crap on The Tonight Show next to Jay Leno.His cousin said no.But when I told my friends at work.One said he’s crap diarrhea in Jay’s face for 10,000.Hilarious.Shaq loves crap jokes for some reason.