Hey ladies, sometimes ‘the fellas’ will end a little early in the bedroom. Many of them have special techniques or things they think about to last longer. You know, gross things. Co-hostess of The View, Sherri Shepherd said today that she has had “more abortions that [she] would like to count”. That’s pretty fucking disgusting. Here are other 6 things in the news men can think about, besides Sherri, to last a little longer.

Tempest Storm

An 80-year-old stripper. I’m sure she used to have real fancy tits and whatnot. But that was in the ’50’s. Now they probably look like ’shame pancakes’. Barf.

An Inconvenient Truth

Let’s say you’ve tried baseball statistics. Now try picturing Al Gore giving more charts and graphs about the world ending because of global warming. Not hot at all. No pun intended.

Dick Cheney Doing Surveillance on You

Picture our unpopular vice president next to the bed (the car, the barn, wherever you’re sinning) and you’ll buy yourself another 30-40 seconds. Avoid thinking about his lesbian daughter though.

Hillary Clinton

Because yuck!

John McCain

He got stabbed in the groin with a bayonet while he was in Vietnam. Maybe he could show you the scars 40 years later. Gross.

Mini-Me’s Sex Tape

His dinger probably looks like a skin version of one of those Bugles snacks. A skin Bugle. If that’s not gross, then I’m not too sure what is.

Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine.

Tags: List, sex

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