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6 Reasons We’re Sick of Michael Phelps
We think this Olympics coverage is getting to us. Michael Phelps is on his way to becoming the greatest Olympian ever. But here are 6 reasons we’re sick of him.
1. His Reaction to Winning the 400 Freestyle Relay.
Okay, dude. We’re happy you got another gold medal. Pull your goddamn Speedo thing up, hero. This is a sporting event, not the world’s gayest Abercrombie ad. Your team won by a fraction of an inch. Now we’re a fraction of an inch from seeing the base of your peen. Pull ‘em up.
2. George Bush is At Every Race.
We don’t want to be too political, so we’ll say this nicely. We wouldn’t want him at our important race. We’d be worried that Bush will pull a gold medal out of his pocket and award himself the winner or something.
3. Debbie Phelps
Can NBC please give this woman more coverage? Can they mike her so we can hear her scream during his races? Can we reiterate how she’s his biggest can and how words can’t express how much they mean to each other? Can we? This story is too good to go unmentioned!
4. His Toofs.
He’s holding up all of his bronze medals he won in the “Weirdest Smile” Olympics last year in Baltimore.
5. The AT&T “More Bars” Commercial.
Have you seen that commercial? Why did she move to a po dunk little town? Why in your po dunk town do they sell all that Michael Phelps shit? Why is he right down the street? Why did you not know? We wouldn’t care if not for your nauseating voice yelling “OR CRY” at the end. You’re like a young Kathy Bates from Misery.
6. Nobody Really Gives A Shit About Swimming.
Sorry. Swimming? You’re lucky all the track stars got busted for roids.
Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine.
August 12th, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Haha! I totally agree!
August 13th, 2008 at 10:54 am
For supposedly being a comedian, you’re not being very funny but rather sounding very jealous of the attention someone is getting for working his ass off. You should be more respectful of an amazing feat if you can’t find any humor. WRB
August 17th, 2008 at 12:39 am
I am so sick of hearing about Michael Phelps and seeing his retarded smile with his big fat monkey ear. Seriously, that guy has physical features of a monkey; long arms, short legs, floppy ear and stupid smile. Besides, swimming isn’t even exciting to watch, its just a bunch of guys and girls doing laps in the pool. If it wasn’t about the medals, I bet no one would care. NBC need tp stop showing all those swimming events (Men and women) and show more gymnastic events.
August 17th, 2008 at 6:07 am
ok, you are a dumbass if you think he’s a hero for being good at a sport that has 500 different medal opportunities, all basically a re-iteration of itself. 50m freestyle, 100m backstroke, 400m relay, 800m IM relay, 100 crawl. jesus christ give me a break. look at the basketball teams, where they sweat balls to get ONE DINKY MEDAL, while this guy is swimmin in it. americans are so stupid to hype up some random guy (altho he IS good at swimming), you are all sheep in a huge flock controlled by propaganda. and the funny thing is, all of you will probably deny this too, convinced you are actually thinking for yourselves. idiots. i am an american, but i have the ability to think for myself.
August 17th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
seriously ur a dick
i love michael phelps
August 17th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
he is one nasty looking dude
August 18th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Well said, fuzz. So sick of NBC waxing poetic over this guy. He’s succeeded at something that virtually nobody sets out to achieve. How many youngsters dream of being a swimming champion? Maybe 1 in 10,000? Whereas a sport like soccer (football) or baseball, it’s a significant percentage of people.
August 31st, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Okay”
i say your all wrong…Michael Phelps had a dream to accomplish and he did…he sets a good example for kids around the world that they can do anything they put there mind to! If he were a basketball player or something you guys would probably fuss over him! and for who wrote this and says who gives a shit about swimming well honestly who gives a shit about you! You must seriously not have a life to disrespect someone who has done something for themself. Michael Phelps is awesome and one hot guy!
sincerly
Michael’s #1 phan
October 21st, 2008 at 4:31 pm
you are worse than a dick your a whorebag! This guy helped his team win a race by a fraction of an inch with less than a fraction of a seconde for silver. And why should he pull his suit up? He has a great body ad no one minds seeing it! Are you jealouse much? O and he has 14 olympic gold medals! How many do you have? Ansewer NONE!!!!!
October 24th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
wtf I cant wait for 6 months to pass, everyone will forget about the olympics and ill never have to stare at bigfoots illegitimate childs ugly face again. btw correction sarah only women and gay men(that ignore faces or just have bad taste) dont mind seeing that much of him.
December 9th, 2008 at 9:02 am
These we’re awesome. My fave was the first one. Seriously, if you love M. Phelps - that’s your own problem, I personally hate the person he is. I’m not jealous. He’s a great athlete, a good role model and he’s a cool person for the reasons that he’s gotten that many olympic gold medals and that he’s followed his dreams. It’s IMPOSSIBLE for Candace Parker to get 6-8 medals in one Olympic game. No, she only gets 1 if the US women place. I think it’s BS. I hate the guy for who he is, I hate him for him thinking he’s God’s gift because he can get that many medals. Whopptee doo. He’s a cocky SOB, end of story.