We already commented on watching swimming. But we don’t think it’s fair to leave out the other event that NBC is cramming down our throats - Female Gymnastics. Here are 4 things we learned while watching the competition.

1. Bela Karolyi Has No Place on Television.

We can make out *maybe* three words he says the entire time. Is he supposed to be Borat’s less-intelligible father? Does his hair still think it’s the 1976 Olympics? What’s happening? For the first time ever, we feel bad for Bob Costas every time he’s on the air with this creep.

2. We Would Make Sweet, Passionate Love to Alicia Sacramone.

Awwwww. It’s okay, baby. We’re here. You still got the silver. Come here. We’ll comfort you and nurse you back to health. She’s 20, right? Okay. Fffffffewww.

3. Shawn Johnson is Rubbing the Legal-Age-of-Consent Laws in Our Faces

Maybe we shouldn’t elaborate.

4. The Chinese Team Are a Bunch of Cheaters

Is it ‘are’ a bunch of cheaters, or ‘is’ a bunch of cheaters? Anyway, we thought we heard Bela Karolyi garble some shit about that last night. We got most of it through his translator, Bob Costas. How do you say ‘losing with dignity’ in Romanian?

Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine

Tags: Gymnastics, Johnson, lists, olympics, Sacramone, Shawn, U.S.

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