It won’t be long before Barack Obama announces his vice presidential nominee. Who will it be? We have no idea. BUT - we do know that Barack will be announcing his choice via text message. Here are 7 other things we hear Obama will be texting in the next week.

“Hi”

Maybe Obama is like a passive-aggressive girlfriend and wants to initiate flirtations with you and, at the same time, remind you that you haven’t called in a while.

“Yo, U goin out 2nite?”

Maybe Obama wants to catch up with you and grab a couple beers. The guy you vote for is usually the guy you’d rather have a beer with, right? Well in this case, Obama sends us the exact same texts as one of our boozebag friends.

“My VP choice is Hilary. JK. LOL. DBEYR.”

Oh, that Obama. Such a trickster.

A funny photo of his cat.

Obama’s cat is wearing a party hat. He knows you’d want to see something like that.

G’nite

Obama has had a long day. The two of you played phone tag, but never connected. He’s retiring for the night and wants you to know he’s not ignoring you.

“Where u at?” at 3 am.

Obama is bootytexting you. He went to afterhours and saw no prospects. He’s texting you because you’re his backup.

He’ll text Jamster to get new Soulja Boy ringtone.

Because that beat is bananas.

Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine.

Tags: best of august 08, lists, Obama, phone, soulja boy, text, VP

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