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9 Surprising Facts About Sarah Palin, John McCain’s Choice For Vice President.

 

CLICK HERE TO SEE TODAY’S BEST OF THE WEB COMEDY VIDEOS!

 

 

John McCain picked his VP. And it’s this MILFy broad from Alaska. People want to know about her. Well, here are 9 surprising facts about Sarah Palin, John McCain’s Choice for Vice President.

 

1. She’s Not Tina Fey.

 

 

Yes, they look alike. But Sarah Palin isn’t as talented. She’s not on “30 Rock” but she is about 30 years younger than John McCain.

 

2. Her kid’s names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper & Trig. Trig has Downs.

 

 

She shouldn’t have named her kids any of those things. Aren’t those names all street slang for heroin?

 


3. She lost as Miss Alaska in 1984.

 

 

They told her she didn’t look dumb enough in this picture. Did the girl who won have a better librarian wig?

 

4. She played point guard on her state champion basketball team. Her nickname was “Sarah Barracuda”.

 

 

Because, after the games, her crotch smelled like a large fish.

 

5. She was briefly a sports reporter in Anchorage.

 

At one point she wanted to be on ESPN, but quit when she realized she’d have to move out of Alaska. Does she know Washington D.C. isn’t in Alaska?

 

6. She calls her husband, the “First Dude”. He’s won a bunch of snowmobile races.

 

 

He’s also part Eskimo. He has 200 words for ’snow’ and 400 words for ’sexy librarian’.

 

7. Her favorite meal is moose stew.

 

 

Coincidentally, that’s her husband’s nickname for her vagina. What’s her second favorite - “Dan Quayle”?

 

8. She wears fur.

 

 

That’s gonna piss off the hippies! It’s going to give us another fantasy about her.

 

9. She’s a Gimmick.

 

Really? John McCain is pandering to women? No way! We don’t believe it! I mean she has 20 months of gubernatorial experience! That’s enough, right? Right? Awww, shit.

 

 

Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine. He’d hit that shit.

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Tags: john mccain, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin bio, Sarah Palin facts, Sarah Palin nude, Vice President

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This entry was posted on Friday, August 29th, 2008 at 5:26 pm and is filed under Misc. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

40 Responses to “9 Surprising Facts About Sarah Palin, John McCain’s Choice For Vice President.”

  1. Wayne Bridenstine Says:
    August 29th, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    Hey, if you liked your Pilan facts, you gotta check this out! It’s great….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2M8nX0_bp4&eurl=http://www.dickmorris.com/blog/hype-the-obama-effect/

  2. Alan Says:
    August 30th, 2008 at 4:43 am

    What makes a liberal Muslum qualified to be Commander-in-Chief of America? The “anti-Washington” plagarist VP candidate speaks well of Obama choices.

  3. Riley Jones Says:
    August 30th, 2008 at 9:53 am

    Wow. I feel stupid just for reading that. Was something funny in there? I missed it.

  4. Pete Says:
    August 30th, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    Funny, Sara has more experience and political accomplishments than Barak Obama. Been in office the same time, but got a lot more done. She ran a whole state! But who cares? Obama is the second coming of Martin Luther King and he promises more stuff right? Awww Shit!

  5. Uncle Sam Says:
    August 31st, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    Dear Alan,
    Go F your own face.
    Uncle Sam

  6. Pete Mosely Says:
    August 31st, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    Pete,
    You are so clueless.
    You gotta be kidding me.
    Go stick your head back in the sand where it belongs.
    Kaira

  7. Louis Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 10:17 am

    Tasteless but funny. you can make 50 of these. Mccain is still gonna be President!

  8. Tom McManus Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    Not funny, at all

    and as far as experience is concerned i think Obama has her beat by four months

  9. poy Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    I love the people calling Obama a Muslim. That’s all they got on him? That his name sounds sort of like it could be Muslim? Seems like they’re getting a little desperate. That,and he makes a lot of promises? Ooooh! Uh… isn’t that what candidates are supposed to do? Pledge the goals they would like to accomplish? It’s great to hear the Republicans having to resort to using catch phrases and rhetoric to bash Obama, while Democrats bash McCain with actual facts about his political career.

  10. Kawoen Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Yeah, she ran a whole state. A whole state with a total population of LESS than the city I live in.

  11. Matt Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    Palin is a fucking idiot. Don’t vote for a conservative piece of shit like McCain.

  12. Brandon Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    Nice call Pete, I love when people argue how somebody as inexperienced as her would only be a heart beat away from the Presidency, not realizing they plan on voting for somebody less experienced to be the actual President.

    Also, if Obama wanted change… why did he select Biden who has been a staple of the same old Congress for 35 years?

  13. Mike Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    Wow Matt, that was brilliant commentary. You really showed your I.Q on that one.

  14. Tyler Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    wow Pete, glad you know how to spell BARACK correctly.

  15. Josh Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    OK but for real i think you guys are missing the point did you see her daughter!!! hahaha and now she’s prego!!!!damn woot woot!! throw that woman in office!!!

  16. Sam Says:
    September 2nd, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    Actually, the general consensus in Alaska is that her kids were probably named after the places they were conceived. Which is also awkward. (And yes, Alaskan places have weird names.)

  17. Amazed By His B*llSh*t Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 2:27 am

    All it takes is one gaffe to taint a Republican for life. The political establishment never let Dan Quayle live down his fateful misspelling of “potatoe.” The New York Times distorted and misreported the first President Bush’s questions about new scanner technology at a grocers’ convention to brand him permanently as out of touch.

    But what about Barack Obama? The guy’s a perpetual gaffe machine. Let us count the ways, large and small, that his tongue has betrayed him throughout the campaign:

    * Last May, he claimed that tornadoes in Kansas killed a whopping 10,000 people:

    “In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas . Ten thousand people died - an entire town destroyed.” The actual death toll: 12.

    * Earlier this month in Oregon , he redrew the map of the United States :

    “Over the last 15 months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States . I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go.”

    * Last week, in front of a roaring Sioux Falls , S.D. , audience, Obama exulted:

    “Thank you, Sioux City . … I said it wrong. I’ve been in Iowa for too long. I’m sorry.”

    * Explaining last week why he was trailing Hillary Clinton in Kentucky , Obama again botched basic geography:

    “Sen. Clinton, I think, is much better known, coming from a nearby state of Arkansas . So it’s not surprising that she would have an advantage in some of those states in the middle.”

    On what map is Arkansas much closer to Kentucky than Illinois ?

    * Obama has as much trouble with numbers as he has with maps. Last March, on the anniversary of the Bloody Sunday march in Selma , Ala. , he claimed his parents united as a direct result of the civil rights movement:

    “There was something stirring across the country because of what happened in Selma , Ala. , because some folks are willing to march across a bridge. So they got together and Barack Obama Jr. was born.”

    Obama was born in 1961. The Selma march took place in 1965. His spokesman, Bill Burton, later explained that Obama was “speaking metaphorically about the civil rights movement as a whole.”

    * Earlier this month in Cape Girardeau , Mo. , Obama showed off his knowledge of the war in Afghanistan by homing in on a lack of translators: “We only have a certain number of them, and if they are all in Iraq , then it’s harder for us to use them in Afghanistan .” The real reason it’s “harder for us to use them” in Afghanistan : Iraqis speak Arabic or Kurdish. The Afghanis speak Pashto, Farsi or other non-Arabic languages.

    * Over the weekend in Oregon , Obama pleaded ignorance of the decades-old, multi-billion-dollar massive Hanford nuclear waste cleanup:

    “Here’s something that you will rarely hear from a politician, and that is that I’m not familiar with the Hanford, uuuuhh, site, so I don’t know exactly what’s going on there. (Applause.) Now, having said that, I promise you I’ll learn about it by the time I leave here on the ride back to the airport.”

    I assume on that ride, a staffer reminded him that he’s voted on at least one defense authorization bill that addressed the “costs, schedules, and technical issues” dealing with the nation’s most contaminated nuclear waste site.

    * Last March, the Chicago Tribune reported this little-noticed nugget about a fake autobiographical detail in Obama’s “Dreams from My Father”:

    “Then, there’s the copy of Life magazine that Obama presents as his racial awakening at age 9. In it, he wrote, was an article and two accompanying photographs of an African-American man physically and mentally scarred by his efforts to lighten his skin.

    In fact, the Life article and the photographs don’t exist, say the magazine’s own historians.”

    * And in perhaps the most seriously troubling set of gaffes of them all, Obama told a Portland crowd over the weekend: that Iran doesn’t “pose a serious threat to us” - cluelessly arguing that “tiny countries” with small defense budgets can’t do us harm - and then promptly flip-flopped the next day, claiming, “I’ve made it clear for years that the threat from Iran is grave.”

    Barack Obama - promoted by the Left and the media as an all-knowing, articulate, transcendent Messiah - is a walking, talking gaffe machine. How many more passes does he get? How many more can we afford?

    Can anyone argue that no Republican (or even Hillary) would have been given a free pass on these memorable gaffes? They would have been crucified (and have been for less)! Be honest with yourself.

    If voters are dumb enough to elect this man along with a veto-proof congress, God help the United States !!!!

  18. Barack H. Obama Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 2:29 am

    My fellow Americans:

    As your future President I want to thank my supporters, for your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor’s relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.

    I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush’s youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.

    I would also like to thank the Kennedy’s for coming out in support of me. There’s a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King, Jr. and Teddy killed a female employee with whom he was having an extra marital affair and who was pregnant with his child. And I’m not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally and figuratively.

    And I’d like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House.

    Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good. Voting for me causes some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist guilt. I say things that sound meaningful, but don’t really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning, then that means you have to think about them.

    Americans are tired of thinking. It’s time to shut down the brain, and open up the heart. So when you go to vote, remember don’t think, just do. And do it for me.

    Thank You. Barack Hussein Obama, Jr.

  19. F.Y.I. Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 2:35 am

    On the Second Amendment, Don’t Believe Obama!
    Friday, June 06, 2008
    The presidential primary season is finally over, and it is
    now time for gun owners to take a careful look at just
    where apparent nominee Barack Obama stands on issues
    related to the Second Amendment. During the primaries,
    Obama tried to hide behind vague statements of support for “sportsmen” or unfounded claims of general support for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms.
    But his real record, based on votes taken, political
    associations, and long standing positions, shows that
    Barack Obama is a serious threat to Second Amendment
    liberties. Don’t listen to his campaign rhetoric! Look
    instead to what he has said and done during his entire
    political career.

    FACT: Barack Obama voted to allow reckless lawsuits
    designed to bankrupt the firearms industry.
    FACT: Barack Obama wants to re-impose the failed and
    discredited Clinton Gun Ban.
    FACT: Barack Obama voted to ban almost all rifle
    ammunition commonly used for hunting and sport shooting.
    FACT: Barack Obama has endorsed a complete ban on handgun
    ownership.
    FACT: Barack Obama supports local gun bans in Chicago, Washington, D.C., and other cities.
    FACT: Barack Obama voted to uphold local gun bans and the criminal prosecution of people who use firearms in self-defense.
    FACT: Barack Obama supports requiring law-abiding gun owners to register their firearms.
    FACT: Barack Obama refused to sign a friend-of-the-court brief in support of individual Second Amendment rights in
    the Heller case.
    FACT: Barack Obama wants to eliminate your Right to Carry.
    FACT: Barack Obama was a member of the Board of Directors of the Joyce Foundation, the leading source of funds for anti-gun organizations and “research.”
    FACT: Barack Obama supported a proposal to ban gun stores within 5 miles of a school or park, which would eliminate almost every gun store in America.
    FACT: Barack Obama voted not to notify gun owners when the state of Illinois did records searches on them.
    FACT: Barack Obama voted against a measure to lower the Firearms Owners Identification card age minimum from 21 to18, a measure designed to assist young people in the military.
    FACT: Barack Obama favors a ban on standard capacity
    magazines.
    FACT: Barack Obama supports mandatory micro-stamping.
    FACT: Barack Obama supports mandatory waiting periods.
    FACT: Barack Obama supports repeal of the Tiahrt
    Amendment, which prohibits information on gun traces
    collected by the BATFE from being used in reckless
    lawsuits against firearm dealers and manufacturers.
    FACT: Barack Obama supports “one-gun-a-month” sales restrictions.
    FACT: Barack Obama supports a ban on inexpensive handguns.
    FACT: Barack Obama supports a ban on the resale of police issued firearms, even if the money is going to police for replacement equipment.
    FACT: Barack Obama supports mandatory firearm training requirements for all gun owners and a ban on gun ownership for persons under the age of 21. On the Second Amendment, Don’t Believe Obama!

  20. DigitalPagan Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 10:38 am

    From surplus to deficit
    2 wars
    disappearing middle class
    Income gap the widest it has ever been

    Vote for John McSame!!

  21. Casey Says:
    September 3rd, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    xD I think this is great! Sorry all of these tight assed republicans are giving you a hard time; I don’t exactally see what makes her more qualified than many of the other OBVIOUSLY more qualified senators in Washington.

    Shit, my mom could probably be a better vp then her.

  22. William Says:
    September 5th, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    It’s obvious from your lame comments about a popular lady that you are a democrat and possibly retarded.

  23. sue Says:
    September 5th, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    It’s like electing Lynne Spears into office. Idiots.

  24. aanuss Says:
    September 6th, 2008 at 6:15 am

    I could eat venison and SHIT a better VP candidate.

  25. Howard Says:
    September 6th, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    Obama can argue all he wants to about who is more of an agent of change … him, or McCain … but, in the real world, McCain and Palin are the ones who have actually worked across the aisle … they are the ones who have actually produced important changes in government … they are the ones who have actually fought corruption and entrenched politicians, and prevailed. Obama may have used the change slogan first, and certainly more often … but, in the real world, Obama hasn’t changed much of anything.
    So, his involvement with actual change has just been with rhetoric and speeches.

  26. Jefferson Says:
    September 8th, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    so, McCain himself has said that he has voted with the Prez 90% of the time.

    Change? where? how? Is that how you reach across the aisle? By voting with one of the most polarizing Presidents in history 90% of the time?

    The Republicans have slammed Obama for not being exprienced. Obama has more national experience than Palin, and Biden, his VP, is the sixth longest serving senator. The Republicans have also slammed Obama for being “elitist” and “arrogant.” When asked, McCain said he didn’t know how many houses he had. I do. It’s SEVEN. His wife Cindy wore an outfit to the Republican convention worth roughly $300,000. McCain’s net worth is nearly $37 million. Obama’s? just under $1 million. Biden’s? less than $100,000, by choice. (Palin’s has yet to be disclosed)

    Elitist? Really? Perhaps they were looking in a mirror when they made that statement.

    McCain’s tax plans are the same trickle-down economics (a large part of Reaganomics) which both Reagan and George W. Bush employed, with limited initial success, and huge deficit spending. We as a nation have only sunk deeper into the economic downturn with Bush’s economic plan. McCain’s is very much the same (tax cuts for the wealthiest, none for the middle or lower class).

    Do you really think that more of the same is going to work? Do you really want to stay in Iraq for another 4 years or more?

  27. robert Says:
    September 11th, 2008 at 6:08 am

    this is a bit disgusting, but funny
    http://www.hollywood-newsroom.com/news/sarah-palin-nude-hot-and-nsfw-get-out-the-vote/

  28. shaz Says:
    September 11th, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    I love all the Republicans going on about Obama’s inexperience on a Sarah Palin article. This woman runs a state with fewer people than the city I live in.
    Also, when she was mayor she fired people for “not supporting her.”
    You know what that says to me? “I understand democracy as far as you voted for me, and now I can do whatever I want.”
    Plus, she said ON CAMERA she doesn’t really know what the VP does.

    That’s a woman to support!

  29. Brian Says:
    September 15th, 2008 at 8:54 am

    FYI,

    Thanks. You’ve given me a whole new laundry list of reasons to vote FOR Obama. Maybe having someone in the White House who isn’t a gun nut might be a good thing for this country, and how it’s viewed around the world.

  30. Richard Owl Mirror Says:
    September 21st, 2008 at 8:20 am

    Seems Sarah supports promiscuity and is against victims of rape and sexual assault.

    The campaign has released a series of e-mails detailing the frustration several Palin administration officials experienced in dealing with Monegan. The “last straw,” the campaign said, was a trip Monegan planned to Washington in July to seek federal money for investigating and prosecuting sexual assault cases.

    In a July 7 e-mail, John Katz, the governor’s special counsel, noted two problems with the trip: the governor hadn’t agreed the money should be sought, and the request “is out of sequence with our other appropriations requests and could put a strain on the evolving relationship between the Governor and Sen. Stevens.”

    But a travel authorization document signed by Palin Chief of Staff Mike Nizich on June 18 approves Monegan’s trip to Washington for the purpose of meeting Sen. Lisa Murkowski.

    The document’s existence was first reported by ABC News on Friday. Monegan told ABC that the travel authorization was explicitly to pursue funding for the anti-sexual-violence program, but the document does not give that as a reason for the trip.

    So Charles, the governor’s priorities do not include prosecuting sexual assault cases. ?
    That does seem to follow her priorities :Sarah Palin To Rape Victims: “Pay Up.”
    Apparently when Palin was mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, if you got raped and the police used a rape kit to obtain DNA evidence to convict the rapist, you (the victim) were billed up to $1200 to cover the cost of the rape kit.

    While Alaska State Troopers and most municipal police agencies in Alaska covered the cost of these exams, that didn’t happen in Wasilla.

    ~@~

    I believe this investigation has been misnamed and misconstrued.

    Although there may be a component regarding her ex-brother-in-law, it seems to be centered on her regard for women’s rights if they were RAPED or SEXUALLY ASSAULTED.

  31. dicked! Says:
    September 23rd, 2008 at 8:08 am

    I was emailed this site and I have to say by reading most of the posts, how ashamed I am of the people that live in these United States! This very bright, articulate Woman was asked to run with a true war hero and I all I read is jokes about her, her family, even their names. You People often wonder why Any Good American won’t Even think of running for Office! This blog is your answer, our country has Many Idiots and Fools who have nothing better to do than make up lies and HURT these Good peole who WANT to serve their country! None of you on here have the pride and courage of Sarah Palin! But, if you did, millions of your Fellow Americans would write FILTH about you, too!!! It is a wonder anybody would go thru the Crap of serving their country! There is so much HATE in this country! Look at some of these posts! All they do is swear! The only hope is that there are more Intelligent people than Not, to get the right person Elected!

  32. thsi site sucks Says:
    September 24th, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    this is the dumbest site.. on fucking earth

  33. Mr. MacPhisto Says:
    September 30th, 2008 at 11:43 am

    This was great! I love that somebody else sees right thru this distraction of a VP choice. For real people, this woman believes that Noah rode around on a dinosaur and that Alaska is “Being prepared as a place for the good and righteous to live out the end times.” They say the American education system is failing, and I say if that is so then she should be their poster child for even saying such things in public. As for all the republican tight asses here, go on back to ann coulter.com or wherever you right wingers hang out and post your tiny minded little comments there. I’m sure you all have a lot of untrue and outright insulting stuff posted your own putrid little blogs. Kind of hypocritical to come here and say how this is such filth and all lies when thats all most of you are doing every day.

    Oh yeah, one more thing.
    FACT: F.Y.I. is a nutjob.

  34. Don Says:
    October 6th, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    What flattery, the more you make fun of someone the more it shows how desperate you are and aren’t Obama supporters pretty desperate?

  35. Barack H. Obama Says: Says:
    October 6th, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    Barack H. Obama Says: Nothing

  36. Barack H. Obama Says: Says:
    October 6th, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    Barack H. Obama Says: CHANGE, We Need Change, Change and nothing

  37. Sarah Says:
    October 12th, 2008 at 12:41 am

    I’m loving how people that are defending McCain and Palin are getting abused from Barack supporters, instead of bad mouthing Palin defenders why don’t you defend Obama

  38. Sarah-Palin-Nude-Video Says:
    October 12th, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    Hey People. I found Sarah Palin Nude Video ( name )
    Good quality video :-)

  39. summer Says:
    November 5th, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    god has a plan for every one

  40. xuxppxxuxyyy Says:
    December 26th, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    hello it is test. WinRAR provides the full RAR and ZIP file support, can decompress CAB, GZIP, ACE and other archive formats.

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