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11 Great Graduation Quotes That Are Stupid.
People love a great quote. They inspire. They stick with us and motivate us. And a lot of them are stupid. Here are 11 great graduation quotes that are stupid.
1. Just about a month from now I’m set adrift, with a diploma for a sail and lots of nerve for oars. ~Richard Halliburton
Your ship is going to crash into the ‘entry level job’ section of CareerBuilder. Also, Halliburton died trying to sail in 1939.
2. All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder. ~Author Unknown
It’s probably best not to take advice from people with ’success’ quotes who can’t even succeed at getting credit for what they said.
3. Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you’ll make a difference. ~Arie Pencovici
Thank you for a vague statement that means nothing. And thank you for pretending your dumb bullshit is the key to success. Plus, nobody has any idea who you are.
4. When you leave here, don’t forget why you came. ~Adlai Stevenson, to college graduates
We came because our parents made us, the fact that our jobs would be even shittier if we didn’t go to college and because we like pussy and booze. Is that what he meant?
5. It takes most men five years to recover from a college education, and to learn that poetry is as vital to thinking as knowledge. ~Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951
Poetry? No. No, it’s not as vital as knowledge.
6. The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after. ~Newton D. Baker
A lot of people say variations of this one. Nobody is refusing to learn, man. Nobody, when faced with a new piece of information says “Fuck you, homie. I graduated.” Nobody.
7. What we are is God’s gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. ~Eleanor Powell
Some gods especially love when we become human sacrificers.
8. To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks. ~A.A. Milne
First of all - what? Second of all, this guy must love the letter ‘A’.
9. How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone. ~Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel
And if your name is Gabrielle, start calling yourself something ridiculous instead.
10. Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. ~Arnold H. Glasow
That’s never good advice. And it didn’t work when those monks did it in Vietnam.
11. There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. ~Beverly Sills
We once cut through an alley to get to happy hour, Beverly. Try again.
Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine. He’s not reaching for the stars, but he’s looking within. Or something.
Tags: Graduation Quotes, lists
