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8 Signs Your Fantasy Football Team Is Going To Suck This Year
Are you ready for some football? We certainly are and to celebrate each week during the new NFL season we are going to present you with brand new Fantasy Football List of the Week. To kick things off after Week 1, here’s a list of 8 Signs That Your Fantasy Football Team Is Going To Suck This Year…
8. You Lost To A Guy That Started Dante Rosario
If there’s a guy in your league that had the vision to draft formerly unknown Carolina Panthers wide receiver Dante Rosario and actually started him against you, using his last-second TD to beat you, well…this just isn’t going to be your year.
7. Your Girl Denied You Sex On Sunday Night
You might have had your best Sunday in months this week as you sat on the couch pounding beers, winning parlays, and dominating your first fantasy game, but if your actions landed you in the doghouse with your girl later that night then your team is ultimately doomed this season. Why? Because despite your determination to watch games every Sunday, even at the expense of your jealous girlfriend cutting you off, you will inevitably cave in by Week 4. After all, you’re just a man. And when you stop watching the games…you start losing the games.
6. You Have Two Or More Rams In Your Starting Lineup
Even if one of these guys is named Steven Jackson, you’re still on the fast track to Loserville.
5. You Changed Your Last Name To Ocho Cinco
Just because an overrated (though very amusing) wide receiver legally changes his name, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for you to draft him and change your name as a show of support. We can’t prove this, but we just know somewhere in this country there’s a fantasy football owner that legally changed his name to Ocho Cinco this season. And we’re equally positive that that guy’s team is going to suck this year.
4. You’re Bill Belichick
We know that technically the Patriots aren’t a fantasy team, but we imagine that coaching them must feel like coaching a fantasy team. And we’re pretty sure that if you’re a grumpy, sweatshirt wearing coach who’s never satisfied then this is going to be a pretty long season for your “fantasy” team.
3. You Used Tecmo Bowl For Your Pre-Draft Research
We’re very excited to see Bo Jackson and Dennis Gentry in your starting lineup, but we doubt you’re going to put up many points this season – unless your league awards points for punting and you have Sean Landeta.
2. Brodie Croyle Was Your Sleeper Pick
The fact that Brodie Croyle got hurt in Week 1 and replaced by Damon Huard isn’t what makes this a sure sign of your impending fantasy doom – it’s the fact that you thought Brodie Croyle didn’t suck that proves you’re a terrible judge of talent and therefore destined for a losing fantasy season.
1. You Drafted Tom Brady
Not only did your fantasy team’s hopes get shattered like Brady’s leg, we don’t really feel bad about it. Not that we wish Brady or the Patriots any harm, but if you had the opportunity to draft Brady we’re guessing you are the kind of guy that most other owners in your league love to see suffer. So, you get what you deserve.
Tags: fantasy football, fantasy football list of the week, lists, nfl, ocho cinco, sports, tom brady
September 9th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Yes, I am one of the guys that drafted Brady… I have McNabb as my 2nd QB and picked up Rogers today, so hopefully losing Brady wont hurt me too bad!
September 23rd, 2008 at 12:03 am
[...] pundits telling me what I can plainly see; a ball going into the net is not that hard to detect. Americans live by it though, and across the pond, many couchs are preparing themselves for prolonged arse [...]