We’ve been kind of distracted by this whole ‘election’ thing and haven’t had the time to catch up on what really matters - gossip about Jennifer Aniston. Doing some catching up, we heard some rumors that she’s preggers. She must have listened to J. Chris Newberg’s pleas. Anyway, we’re not exactly sure if it’s true, or who the father is, but we sure can speculate. Here are the top 8 people who could have gotten Jennifer Aniston pregnant. Even though we’d love to find out on a ‘Not the Father’ episode of Maury Povich.

8. That leprechaun from the movie Leprechaun

The leprechaun was last spotted in Mobile, Alabama by a bunch of black people. But if you shine a light in its direction, it suddenly disappears. But there is an amateur sketch available.

7. Ross Geller

Yes, the fictional character. It would be named Emma and will only laugh when she and Ross sing “Baby Got Back”. Sound ridiculous? Somebody who got paid a lot more money than we do wrote that shit for Friends. You remember it.

6. J. Chris Newberg

We think Jennifer Aniston is probably an avid reader of Comedy.com/blog. Chances are, she watched the video and the two of them got bizz-ay.

5. Kevin Federline

This K-Fed dude knows how to get a bitch woman pregnant. That’s seriously all he knows how to do. He’s a specialist.

4. David Crosby

When a female in Hollywood is pregnant and nobody knows for sure who the father is, there’s a fraction of a chance Crosby is the surrogate. C’mon, who wouldn’t want those genes?

3. Shawn Kemp

Doesn’t Shawn Kemp have 20 illegitimate kids with 25 women or something? They probably hang in the same circles, right? Shawn Kemp has probably had sex with most women he’s had eye contact with. You never know.

2. Levi Johnson

He’s a Wasilla hillbilly looting vaginas from coast to coast.

1. John Mayer

Fine. Maybe the tabloids are right. Maybe she took fertility pills and he knocked her up and then proposed to him. Maybe she and Brad Pitt didn’t work out because Brad didn’t want to have kids at the time. Sure. We totally buy that. But we wish super bad that it was one of the other people on this list.

Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine. He runs on Dunkin’.

Tags: brad pitt, fertility pills, jennifer aniston, Jennifer Aniston John Mayer, Jennifer Aniston pregnant, John Mayer pregnant

• Why Won’t Somebody Give Jennifer Aniston A Baby?
• Some Other Sucker’s Parade: TMZ Edition
• 4 Things We Learned While Watching Female Gymnastics
• Jeff Ross Roasts The WGN Morning News And An Anchor Calls His Co-Worker A Whore
• Baseball’s All-Ugly Team

This entry was posted on Friday, November 7th, 2008 at 5:20 pm and is filed under Funny Lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.