Everyone’s favorite political figure, Sarah Palin, is making headlines again. Few things in life are this perfect. Palin pardoned a turkey and is talking about it on camera while many other turkeys are slaughtered right behind her. This is the best recent Thanksgiving news report besides turkeys gone wild.

We are very excited for this year’s Comedy Festival going on this weekend featuring Jerry Seinfeld, Ellen DeGeneres, Dane Cook, Cheech and Chong, and more. If you’d like a better idea of what to expect, check out these Dave Hill interviews with comedians from last year’s Comedy Festival.

Sarah Silverman

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Tay Zonday, the Internet superstar behind the song “Chocolate Rain,” has released a new video for his new song “The Year 6000.” It features Tay Zonday’s signature voice and lyrics like “The Year 6000 you’ll be makin’ love, to six-nippled aliens up above.” Sound bizarre? Well, it’s not really any stranger than the “Chocolate Rain” or “Explode” lyrics. Remember “Chocolate Rain - some stay dry and others feel the pain?” You gotta love internet stars. We can’t wait to see Quentin Tarantino remix this one the way he remixed Chocolate Rain.

James Lipton should absolutely never be allowed to discuss male genitalia publicly ever again. He took a perfectly good anecdote from Ricky Gervais about pissing in a sink and turned it into one of the creepiest moments in Inside The Actors Studio history. And that’s saying something. How did they start talking about dick sizes? Well, after Gervais tells his pissing story, he says his wife is very proud of him. That’s when Lipton says, “She may have peaked while you were pissing in the sink and said, ‘Hey, that’s for me.’”

Ewww. No, Lipton. Did the great Bernard Pivot teach you that interview technique too, Grossout? Ricky follows that up by a pretty funny rant about how he’s average sized. Then he makes a joke about if DeNiro discussed the same thing on his show. “Not exactly,” said Creepton, “He told us he had an enormous penis. Mike Myers, not so big. We keep a record.” Ugh. Then when the topic of Shakespeare comes up, the creepiest talk show host on television says, “He had a very, very large penis.”

That’s great. James Lipton is ostensibly heterosexual, but he’s gay-as-shit for William Shakespeare, so he projects his wishful fantasy of Shakespeare’s sexy huge cock on his viewing audience. Save that shit for your therapy session.

Want it to get weirder? Lipton is 82. And when he lived in Paris after World War II, he arranged sex for American tourists with French prostitutes. He’s gotta think about dicks and sex all day long.

So what happened here went from funny sexual honesty on a self-important show, into an excuse for Lipton to finally get to discuss what he thinks about and craves every second of the day.

If you want sex in your Inside the Actors Studio, try this video of Zach Galifianakis interviewing Vivid girl, Monique Alexander on “Inside the Porn Actors Studio”. James Lipton is nowhere to be found.

Posted by Brido.

Comedy.com favorite and advice columnist extraordinaire Amber Tozer has teamed up with pal Karey Dornetto on a new video that explores what a couple of young women do when they get bored. And in this particular case, the answer is…fingerbang. We can’t think of any better way for them to pass the time that doesn’t involve Japanese air blow jobs.

When we last checked in with the guys from Comedy.com’s original video game series Glitch In The System, they were busy harassing C-list celebrities about video games. This time around, they’ve found another interesting line of questioning as host Jacob Sirof tracks down Lynda Carter (aka Wonder Woman) and reveals to her that he’s masturbated to her in three different decades.

We know it’s tough to find time to get your daily workout in, but we thought that this video might help inspire you. It features a bunch of leotard-clad women working out their asses and titties to the classic song “Ass and Titties.” It beats the hell out of working out with a dead Golden Girl.

Hey ladies, have you ever wished that your vibrator was able to give you a little more than just a battery-induced good time? Do you think it would be great if your vibrator could also whisper sweet nothings in your ear, hold you when you need to be held, or tell you that your new dress doesn’t make your ass look fat? Well, as this College Humor video demonstrates, you better be careful what you wish for. Some things are better left as romance novel inspired dreams.

When it comes to stand up comedy gimmicks, there’s not a lot that are more ridiculous than saying Git-R-Done after every single joke. But, we may have found one in this video featuring a comic who pretends to, uh, gag on a dick after every joke. We don’t want to laugh at it, but we can’t help ourselves. Maybe this guy should hook up with the Penis Rapper.

You can always count on the UCB Comedy crew to come up with an idea you’ve never considered before (and probably wish you never would have had to) and they’ve done it again with a commercial for a new product called a Spermos. What’s a Spermos you ask? Well, it’s a thermos filled with sperm. It probably goes great with your Cum-N-Go.