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Ask Amber: Ashley, Aubrey, and Amazing Asshole Art
Monday, September 29th, 2008
Hey Change,
Whaddya say we bang bang chitty chitty bang bang? Maybe later? Ok, just be sure your motor car is running ok when it flies in the air. Lets just get straight to the question.
Hey Amber,
I thought this would be fun to ask you. I’m a published children’s author and I write books that touch on subjects such as shyness, bullies, divorce, learning disabilities and whatever else kids struggle with.
I’ve read a few of your columns and I couldn’t believe some of the stuff that you said. It’s really funny but some of it’s just plain shocking. As a writer I, of course, compare your work to mine. I was curious to see what angle you would come up with if you were to write a children’s book.
Thanks,
The Future
Note to readers: I exchanged a few emails with this guy to get more info and he said he writes REAL kids book. Like the kind an eight-year-old would read with cute pictures and stuff.
Hi Future,
Thanks for writing in and thanks for giving me guidance on what the eff you were talking about. I thought I was going to have to write a psychological breakdown of why kids get all fucked up during
childhood. I’m crazy and if I wrote a book about the reasons why it would be called ALCOHOLISM, CATHOLICISM, WORKAHOLISM, A LOT OF DIVORCES, AND COMPETITIVE GYMNASTICS.
My mom worked all of the time, my dad(s) were drunks, and I thought I could get closer to God by landing double back flips. Boo-hoo for me! I’m a crybaby face. Alright - I really don’t want to act like a victim because everything is different now. My mom is really sweet and mellow, my new dad doesn’t drink and has a good health insurance plan, I do back flips on my own terms and Catholicism is lost in
translation.
