I make poor decisions in my life. We all do.

We find ourselves in bad scenarios and situations, and you find out what kind of person you really are. Quick example: the first time you were offered cocaine at a party or a creepy uncle’s house, did you walk away? Or did you spend the next three days sleepless, in a motel room grinding your teeth and telling lies?

I’m proud to say I made a good decision yesterday!

I’m currently moving from Toronto to Vancouver (same distance as NY to LA). Usually I turn to the slightly retarded folks at U-haul for all my moving needs. This time, I made the right decision and brought in the professionals. Two men, a tractor-trailer, and three hours later our whole apartment was on a truck and on its way to the coast. It was the most pleasant move I’ve ever experienced!

Fuck U-haul! They’re expensive, and the trucks are in terrible condition. I’ve rented safer automobiles in Columbia! It’s a fact that over 100% of all U-haul trucks at one time have had a dead midget inside. A fact!

(Give me a second while I do this last rip)

Next time you move, save your sanity, save your money, and save a midget. Get the professionals and fuck U-Haul!