Triumph The Insult Comic Dog from Late Night with Conan O’Brien has made videos with more than his share of losers over the years - from Star Wars nerds, to comic book geeks, to Bon Jovi fans, to Republicans - but his latest funny video revolves around the most magical loser around, David Blaine. Triumph recently caught up with David Blaine at his horrendous Dive of Death stunt (which wasn’t nearly as impressive as one of these stunts would have been) and chatted with Blaine and his fans as the Dive of Death was taking place.

Magician David Blaine’s latest “trick” will be hanging upside down for 60 hours. To call us “unimpressed” would be a bit of an understatement. Here are 50 stunts that would be more impressive than David Blaine: Dive of Death.

1. David Blaine eats 3 jalapenos in a row.

2. David Blaine drinks a gallon of milk in an hour.

3. David Blaine eats 6 saltine crackers in one minute.

4. David Blaine does 100 somersaults.

5. David Blaine eats nothing but McDonalds for 30 days.

6. David Blaine goes 30 days without being confused for Chris Angel or that dude, Mystery.

7. David Blaine watches a season of Celebracadabra.

8. David Blaine hops on one foot all day.

9. David Blaine wears a pair of shoes that are one size too small for 60 hours.

10. David Blaine gives up chocolate for Lent.
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