Posted By: Dan Telfer

on 12/15/08

So Santa, I'm sorry to hear that this past summer the North Pole completely melted for the first time in recorded history due to global warming.
On the bright side, your wife got wet for the first time in 300 years.

Posted By: Robin Fox

on 12/15/08

Santa Claus.... Judgmental fat bast@#d or just an anti- semite. He know if you've been good or bad, or Jewish.

Posted By: Stacy Dotson

on 12/14/08

Santa is so fat that his reindeer have refused to pull his sleigh this year claiming it would be animal cruelty.

Posted By: Shane Lucas

on 12/11/08

whats michael jackson and santa got in common?
when they both leave the kids both of their sacks are empty

Posted By: Dejan Uranjek

on 12/11/08

Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.

Posted By: Heather Nightingale

on 12/11/08

Santa has such a tragic life...
He only gets to come once a year and thats wasted down the chimney!

Posted By: aisha woodburn

on 12/10/08

why is santa so jolly?
because he knows where all the naughty girls live!

Posted By: Jim Jonsburginheimer

on 12/10/08

Whats big and fat and barely fits down the chimney?
Britney Spears

Posted By: charles Gallagher

on 12/10/08

Why is santa so jolly?
Because he has three "Ho's"

Posted By: sam miller

on 12/10/08

Santa's so fat when he moved to the North Pole he caused the earth to tilt.

Posted By: Sam Miller

on 12/10/08

What's the difference between Santa and a pedophile? It's hard for pedophiles to get children to sit in their lap.

Posted By: Sam Miller

on 12/10/08

All Santa wants for Christmas is to see his toes.

Posted By: mike stowe

on 12/10/08

Santa is so fat and hairy -- he looks like the bastard love child of Rosie O'Donnell and Rumplestiltskin.

Posted By: Merlin S.

on 12/10/08

I'm going to light the chimney when Santa comes this year so I can hear him go from HO-HO-HO! to HO-HO-HOLY SHIT!

Posted By: Steven Sprunger

on 12/10/08

Santa, you're so old and fat, the only tail you ever get has hooves and a glowing nose!

Posted By: Sarah Braun

on 12/9/08

Santa is so cheap this year, he's changing his name to Saint Nickel-less!

Posted By: Jason Nagler

on 12/9/08

I know the reason why you're REALLY jolly: because you know EXACTLY where all the good girls and boys live!

Posted By: Jeremy Borden

on 12/9/08

By "ho ho ho" I think you mean Mrs. Claus, Mrs. Claus, Mrs. Claus.

Posted By: Matt Priselac

on 12/9/08

Hey Santa, you’re so fat, even your red suit has stretch marks!