In today's episode President Bush puts his Dick in a tub, Jane Fonda puts her foot in her mouth, and Roger Clemens' "alleged" steroid ne...

Tune in for the newest new news you didn't know you didn't know. Sober up, America.

Tonight's top stories: Hillary has a bigger caucus than Obama; General Mills introduces Life Sucks cereal; and Paula Abdul brings her unique brand ...

Tonight's top stories: Fat is the new gay; Nicole Richie's baby is the first newborn to weigh more than its mother; and Wesley Snipes learns that W...

Competitive Awesome presents "The Newest New News," a fast-paced, retro-themed news program that reports on tomorrow's headlines today. C...

In this week's holiday-themed newscast, Disney is dreaming of a mulatto Christmas, Santa appears on the Government's "No Fly" list, and g...

Competitive Awesome presents "The Newest New News," a fast-paced, retro-themed news program that reports on tomorrow's headlines today. C...

Competitive Awesome presents "The Newest New News," a fast-paced, retro-themed news program that reports on tomorrow's headlines today.