Animals Jokes
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What Time is It?
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Idiotic Pest Control How does an idiot go about killing a groundhog? A Panda Walks into a Bar A panda walks into a bar and orders a meal. He didn't want to pay so he shot the barman and went out the door. The headline of the ... Smartest Cat in the World John: My cat is the smartest cat in the world. Jen: Oh really? Show me. John:(Pretending to shoot his cat)BANG! Jen: So wha... Why Did Trigger Look in the Toilet Why did Trigger look in the toilet? The Ant andThe Elephant An ant was going to make a suit for herself. On the way she met an elephant. "Where are you going?", said the elephant. "I'm going t... Two Monkeys Share a Banana There were two monkeys sharing a banana. The fist monkey says, "Let's cut it in two pieces." The second monkey says, "You're so self... Elephant Embarrassment Why did the elephants have to exit the swimming pool? The Explosive Chow Mix A dog went to the store to get some chow mix. After eating it, he realized it had a bomb in it. He goes to the doctor and the doctor... Legless Cow What do you call a cow with no legs? The Fish What did the Fish say when he ran into the Concrete Wall? Gay Horse What does a gay horse eat? HAAAY! Hogs Q: What's the difference between a hog and a man? What If a Cow Q: What happens when a cow swallows a fly? Horseplay Two racehorses, Tony and Leo, always ran against each other in races. The results were always the same with Tony coming in first an... Hungry Lion A herd of deer stumble upon a starving lion, who slowly looks up at them and says,"Hey, guys, I haven't eaten anything for months. C... Mixed Breed What do you get when you cross Lassie and a pit bull? A dog that will rip your face off and then run for help. High Wire Desperate for work, a man went to the owner of a local circus and asked if there were any openings. The owner told him that he need... Have a Cow What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? Eternal Gull One day, a father and son were walking along the beach when they came across a dead seagull lying on its back. Curiously, the son... Applying For Insurance A cowboy applied for an insurance policy. "Have you ever had any accidents?" asked the agent. "Nope," replied the applicant, "th... Son of a Beech Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. As the sprout grows into... Sheepish Shortcut Bill and Dale built a skating rink in the middle of a pasture. One day a shepherd, leading his flock, decided to take a shortcut ac... A Flamingo's Leg Why does a flamingo stand on one leg? A Rooster and a Dog What do you get when you cross a rooster and a disobedient dog? |
