Jokes

There was a man who had been in the bar for a while, and he was really drunk. So he came stumbling out of the bar into the parking lot.

He fumbled through his keys, and yelled, "Somebody stole my car!" There was a cop nearby, and he noticed this guy was drunk. So he came over to the man and said, "Sir, is there something wrong?" The man slurs back, "Yeah! Someone stole my car!" The cop replied, "Well, where was it when you last saw it, Sir?" The drunk held out his keys and said, "The last time I seen it, it was at the end of this here key!"

The cop now knew this guy was really drunk. He looked him up and down, and realized the guy's penis was hanging out of his pants. "Sir," said the cop, "Do you realize your penis is hanging out of your pants?" The drunk looked down and gasped. "Oh my God! They took my girlfriend too!"