Jokes

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a raindance.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is t' swaller.

Iffin you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Iffin it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

It don't take no genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you shavin' in the mirror every morning.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

If you git to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Don't worry 'bout bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your jaws are movin'.

Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it, are two entirely different propositions.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure they're still with ya.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're a-throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. 'Tain't so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it WAS.