Jokes

A guy and his beautiful girlfriend go into to this bar. The guy sits down and the beautiful girl tells her boyfriend that she is going to the bar to order her favorite mixed drink. She walks up to the bar to order the drink and along comes this drunk guy slurring, "Damn, baby, you are so fine, I would love to suck on those tits of yours!"

She replies, "How dare you talk to me that way, my boyfriend is sitting over there and I am going to tell him what you said and he is going to kick your ass!" She tells her boyfriend what the drunk guy said and the boyfriend stands up firmly and replies to the drunk guy, "You don't talk to my girlfriend like that. I know she is beautiful, but if you do it again I will have to commence to kicking your ass!"

The boyfriend tells the girl to go back to the bar and order that drink and that she should not worry about the drunk guy. She goes to the bar and again here comes the drunk slurring, "God damn, baby, you are so fine I just want to fuck you right here on this bar!"

She replies, "How dare you talk to me in that way? I am going to tell my boyfriend and he is gonna kick your ass!" She tells her boyfriend and the guy stands up and takes his jacket off and rolls up his sleeves and furiously threatens, "If I have to tell you again to stop talking to my girlfriend like that I will kick your god damn ass! I am not going to warn you again!"

He tells the girlfriend to go back to the bar and to not worry about the drunk for if he does it again he will kick his ever loving ass. She goes back to the bar and here comes that drunk mother fucker again slurring, "Daaamn, baby, I just can't help it. You are so fine, I want to lay you down on this bar and fill your pussy up with beer and suck it dry!"

The girl replies, "That's it, your ass is as good as kicked!" She goes back and tells her boyfriend again what the drunk said. The boyfriend stands up, rolls down his sleeves, puts on his jacket and runs swiftly out the door.

The girlfriend runs out to catch her boyfriend and asks, "Why did you run out like that? Aren't you going to kick his ass like you said?"

And the boyfriend replies, "I ain't gonna fuck with anybody that can drink that much beer!!!"