Jokes

A COMPARISON OF
THE OPENING DAY OF SCHOOL
THIRTY YEARS AGO
AND TODAY


THIRTY YEARS AGO---Mrs. Carlson receives an apple from an anonymous student and shows it to her fellow teachers.
TODAY, Mrs. Carlson receives a package from an anonymous student and shows it to the bomb squad!!

THIRTY YEARS AGO---young Jack Turner is caught reading Playboy.
TODAY, Miss Blake, the art teacher, is probably posing for Playboy!!

THIRTY YEARS AGO---the entire first grade class groans when Melvin asks the teacher “Didn’t you forget to give us homework?”
TODAY, the entire first grade class cheers when Rocco asks the teacher, “Hey where the hell are the condoms”!!

THIRTY YEARS AGO---Nurse Ryan treats the fifth grade’s first case of whooping cough.
TODAY, Nurse Ryan treats the fifth grade’s first case of morning sickness!!

THIRTY YEARS AGO---Students find mercury, lead and cobalt on the periodic table.
TODAY, Students find mercury, lead and cobalt in their drinking water!!

THIRTY YEARS AGO---many classes began with “show and tell”
TODAY, many classes begin with “search and frisk”!!

THIRTY YEARS AGO---ninth grader Mark Collins is caught cheating on a pop quiz.
TODAY, Eric Dowd is caught cheating on his common-law wife.!!

THIRTY YEARS AGO---in assembly, Mr. Police Captain tell students how to avoid being accosted by strangers.
TODAY, in assembly, Mr. Police Captain tells students how to avoid being shot by his men!!!