Jokes

The following quotes are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to
summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible.


1 "Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

2 "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions."

3 "I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my hand through it."

4 "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way."

5 "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."

6 "A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face."

7 "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

8 "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed for the
embankment."

9 "As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever
appeared before. I was unable to stop to avoid the accident."

10 "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."

11 "My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

12 "I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull."

13 "The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him."

14 "The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."

15 "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished."

16 "I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car."

17 "I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."

18 "I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

19 "The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck my
front end."

20 "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble, when my universal joint gave way causing me to
have an accident."

21 "I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

22 "In my attempt to hit a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."