Jokes

In a classroom one day the teacher asked her students, for homework, to think of a true story that has a moral.

So the next day she asked Wendy to come up first. The teacher says, "Alright Wendy, what's your story?"

"Well," Wendy started,"My grandfather lives on a farm and he has chickens. He wanted to sell all the eggs at the market but they didn't make it to the market because the back of the truck broke and they all fell out."

Teacher says,"And what is the moral?"

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch!"

"Very nice Wendy," Teacher looks at a small boy in the corner of the class and says,"Now, Johnny, your story."

Little Johnny starts,"My Uncle Ted was in Vietnam. His helicopter was over enemy territory when it crashed but before it did he took a parachute, some artillary and a case of beer down with him when he evacuated. As he was floating down he drank the entire case of beer! When he landed there were 100 bad guys waiting for him. He took out his shot gun and killed 50 until his bullets ran out."

By this time the teacher has the most horrified look on her face.

"He then took out his knife and killed 30. With 20 left he killed them all with his bare hands!"

The teacher says, "And what in God's name is the moral of that awful story?!"

"The moral is: Never f*** with my Uncle Ted when he's drinking!"