Ryan theorizes that Hell hath no fury like a retarded kid scorned.

Ryan reads excerpts from his new relationship book, “Men are from Mars, Women are from a Planet Where It’s Okay to ask Stupid Question...

Ryan dreams of a monogamous relationship with his Primary Care Physician so they can finally have unprotected prostate exams.

Ryan asks if men and women can really just be friends and, more importantly, if there’s such a thing as a platonic blowjob.

Ryan admits that his resume contains more inaccuracies than a James Frey Wikipedia entry.