Sadiki says dogs are just like children…except that you can’t kick a child. What a Vick!

Brian theorizes that his cesarean birth has left him directionally-challenged. . Damn you, UterusQuest!

Jay recalls his mom literally having him by the balls the day she personally tested his little league protective cup.

Jay is freaked out by kids who act a lot older then they are, or as Michael Jackson calls them, “maybes.”

Jay wonders if “go fly a kite!” is an insult or a thoughtful suggestion on a pleasant way to spend the afternoon.

Al talks about wanting to work so he can spend more quality time AWAY from his family.

Al worries that the Bouncy Castle is a greater threat to children’s well-being than a sleepover at Pete Townshend’s house.

Al discusses his multi-ethnic marriage and what it’s like to give birth to a Benetton commercial.

Jason believes the children are our future, have Mexican nannies teach them well and let them lead the way.

Tig says the only thing “artificial” about artificial insemination is the intelligence.

Taylor reminisces about his childhood and playing with politically correct, realistic toys like the "Out of Shape Barbie with No Feminine Appe...

Esau claims his brother is so black that President Bush REALLY, REALLY doesn’t care about him.

Esau puts the “dys” in “dysfunctional family” as he happily rips into his for your viewing pleasure.