Jill tragically misinterprets the masochistic masturbation ritual and ties the string around her vagina.

Matt debunks the “Big Bone Theory” and claims his girlfriend didn’t cheat on him – she’s just stricken with �...

Some people think bad sex is like pizza – but Joe has never gotten Blue Balls or Herpes from a slice of pepperoni.

Ian doesn’t have penis envy – she just wants to be able to pee her name in the snow.

Ian gets stopped by airport security where they find a loaded dildo in her bag.

Ryan says most Midwesterners are fat – which is weird since most of them are addicted to crystal meth.

If Mike accidentally loses his penis in some sort of freak accident, his girlfriend would stay with him – and just make him wear a strap-on....

Mike was hitting his girlfriend from behind and said she had a ‘fat ass’ but he meant ‘phat ass’.

Quinn says sharing a milkshake with another man doesn’t make you gay – but leaving together on a scooter does.

Kevin says the only thing bigger than a transsexuals’ acting talent is her Adam’s apple.

Kevin doesn’t drink or do drugs but he’s got a tumor – meanwhile Keith Richards didn’t die again today.

Matt cites the ways, like the fact that beer ALWAYS gives you some head

Matt isn’t married, so if he dies suddenly, he wants someone to tell his casual hookup that he loved her…ass.

According to a new study, doctors say penis size doesn’t matter – but most doctors are Jews and Asians so, you know, draw your own co...

When Kevin’s girlfriend requests that he bite her nipples extra hard he wonders if candy might come out.